Untying the Knot

A Divorce Ceremony

Nick Meima, Co-Officiant

Join Us in Untying the Knot

Divorce is common. 2,200,000 people get divorced each year in the US. Almost 50% of first marriages , 67% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

When we get married friends and relatives join us in celebration. Two individuals exchange vows, exchange rings and exit the ceremony as a couple.

When we divorce, we do it as individuals. Very often, many of the relatives will no longer be involved on our lives. A lot of the friends will distance from us as we get divorced.

Divorce is one of the most emotionally stressful experiences in life. Every aspect of our life is affected (e.g. finances, living situations, shared custody of the children, future plans and dreams disappeared, our identity as a married person, our sense of family torn apart ).

Rebuilding after a divorce is a process. No one can rebuild by themself. Everyone needs support to process all of the painful emotions (i.e. grief, anger, fear, hurt, resentment, disappointment, shame, anxiety, loneliness, feeling inadequate, bitter, heartbroken, helplessness, and depression).

Emotional disentanglement is necessary for a person to move forward in rebuilding their life after divorce. Disentangling or "un-enmeshing", gradually letting go of the emotional connections with the ex-spouse.

In contrast, when a spouse dies, we gather in support of the surviving person. We attend a funeral or memorial service. We provide meals , invite the surviving spouse to social events etc.

Every culture throughout history has created rituals and ceremonies to provide meaning to life passages, and to help families and communities strengthen their bonds.

There are no ceremonies or rituals for the person going through divorce. The concept of a divorce ceremony is alien to most people. For many the ending of the marriage was painful and traumatic; and they want nothing to do with any further reflections on the marriage.

Schedule

Date and Time:

Saturday October 14th, 2023

1:00 to 3:00pm

Location:

North Boulder (will be revealed upon registration)

What is a divorce ceremony and why would someone want to participate?

Jen Meyer, Co-Officiant

The key aspects of a divorce ceremony are being released from the marriage vows, letting go of promises that were made, and letting go of various aspects of the marriage (e.g. the shared future, the wedding anniversary, shared holidays, birthday celebrations, "our" home, expectations, rituals [pizza on Friday nights, watching the TV series together, "our" favorites -restaurants, vacation sites etc}).

Most people get stuck emotionally during and after divorcing. Support is necessary to rebuild and heal.

We can't do it alone. A divorce ceremony is designed to help with the letting go process, to support in rebuilding one's life post divorce.

Divorce can be the doorway to a wonderful future is we take the steps that lead up to the doorway. Joseph Campbell said" We have to let go of the life we had planned , in order to embrace the life that is waiting for us."

This ceremony can be a big step in your journey of rebuilding, and moving forward.