Proof that you can
Let Go and Move on Quickly
How Does the Rebuilders System Work?
Below you'll see why the Rebuilders International system really works, why it is unique, what we do. We will let this information stand for itself! And yes, of course results will vary.
The Rebuilders Background: 40 years of changing people's lives.
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Meet Dr. Bruce Fisher
The founder of the Rebuilders program was Dr. Bruce Fisher (1931-1998). He was born in Iowa but spent most of his adult life in Boulder, Colorado. He was a popular divorce therapist, author, teach and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. As he worked with clients dealing with divorce he realized that traditional therapy didn't work efficiently. He began working with his clients in groups and eventually found that there are 19 "steps" that people must work through to effectively "Rebuild" their lives. From this work he wrote the book "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends." We still use this book as a reference in our classes. Since he wrote the book over 30 years ago we have learned a lot and the program has evolved considerably. Now we find that there are more "steps" and that there are some elements that Dr. Fisher wasn't aware of or misunderstood. However, he still created a powerful foundation for the program that we run today.
The Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale
The Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale, affectionately referred to as the FDAS, is a 100 question survey that measures a person's adjustment in 6 key categories. It also provides an "overall" score of a person's current adjustment to the loss of a love relationship in their life. The questions are primarily directed to people that are clearly headed for divorce, in the divorce process, or are already divorced. When a person takes the test there is a raw score that gets generated for each category and overall. Then the scores are compared to all of the other people that have taken the test. This is the key, it gives a very solid score of how are YOU doing compared to others that have taken the test. Over the last 40 years THOUSANDS of people have taken the test. Having this many "data points" helps us accurately understand how well you are doing. Keep in mind that we consider it an "emotional weather report". It changes day to day a bit but we have seen historically that your overall score won't change much over time UNTIL YOU DO THE WORK. It is a common myth that it just takes time to heal after divorce. The test shows that this simply isn't true. Time scabs over the wounds of divorce. In order to truly heal you must treat the wound.
RESULTS DISCLAIMER STATEMENT:
Every situation is different and every person is different but we do want to show you statistics from our program. They are based on client data starting in 2021 and on. Data included are people that have completed the 10-Week Rebuilders Workshop and have attended all classes, and done all of the homework, and reading. Which is approximately a total of 4 hours per week. Your own experience and results will vary greatly depending on your own choices, circumstances, coachability, and ability to integrate the tools and information into your life. We don't promise or guarantee these explicit numbers. We know that each person is unique and statistics and charts don't represent your individuality.
Rebuilders: Research, Evidence Based Healing
Reliability and Validity of the FDAS
A study of 486 individual showed that the FDAS, which we use to measure the effectiveness of our program has an internal consistency, using Cronbach's alpha of .93.
Relationship Termination and the FDAS
In this study, the FDAS was used as a tool to measure the differences between the married and unmarried people going through a breakup of their primary love relationship. It shows that the FDAS is a standard of measure in the industry for relationship loss.
Effectiveness of the Rebuilders Workshop
Using the FDAS as a measure before and after the program, the researches were able to show that with just 2 hours per week the graduates showed dramatically better results and also measured using the Satisfaction With Life measurement tool.
But don't trust the scientists, look at what our graduates say...
Here's more...
Comments from our Graduates
Before I made the decision to take this class, I was lost emotionally and mentally. I remember how isolated I was from the world because of the depression. I couldn’t believe that someday I will go through a divorce. I lost sense of self. I didn’t even know what my purpose in life is and why am I still here. I got to the point where I hated myself because of the feeling of rejection. It was like a nightmare I wasn’t sure if I would ever wake up from it. I have tried almost everything but nothing has helped me get through this struggle but this class. Nick did a great job in reaching out for those who are in need to get their life back. He helped me understand where I’m and why I’m feeling the way I was. Not only that but he also gave me the effective tools to develop a healthy inner self and to continue my life that way I would like it to be regardless of my past. The wonderful people I met in this class have also impacted me tremendously. Sharing our divorce/separation experiences and everything that came with it has made me feel that I’m not alone. This group class was the best decision I’ve ever made and I feel so blessed to meet every one of you. Thank you all for your advice and the words of encouragement. I can now move on with my life and hope that I’ll continue fulfilling my purpose in this life.
Susan
I’m so thankful to have had the opportunity to have taken this journey with you and the class. It’s been very mind blowing and a real eye opener.
Mike
I would wholeheartedly encourage you to embrace Nick and the work and help that he provides so that you can walk a path to find yourself.
BB
The Rebuilding Workshop helped me realize how much I was relying on other people to make me happy. No wonder my past relationships never worked out!
Bob W
The structured way that the Workshop was put together, helped me move through the initial pain, frustration and confusion. Even though I have benefited from therapy, this process made a big difference because I kept building a new foundation and new ways to become more adept at dealing with conflict and challenges.
Mary T.
Great course and great value!
R. Rummel
It was in about the fourth or fifth week when a lot of what I was learning came together for me, and the deep pain I had been in, started for the first time, to become manageable. As the Workshop went on, I found that I was able to become more focused at work and more attentive to my children’s needs
Sally B
At the beginning of the Workshop I was struggling a lot. The Facilitator, my fellow students, and the homework made a huge difference. I really was not sure I would feel good again. Now, I feel better, and have a much clearer sense of how I stay out of struggle, and keep moving forward in a positive way.
Marilyn D
I believe the most impactful part of our workshop for me was, how it taught me about myself. I became aware that I mattered. I had completely lost myself throughout my life of marriage and kids. I had existed as a non-entity until now. I learned that I am worth focusing on, being taken care of, valued, and cherished. I am worth having a good time, laughing, and my feelings, thoughts and dreams matter! I am a kind and giving person, but I can also take care of ME now as well. I am stronger than I think I am, and I am ENOUGH! This will be a constant journey of self-worth for me, so please keep me in all of your prayers and thoughts. You are all forever with me! Thank you, Nick!!!!!!!!!! Thanks everyone.
Leisa
Getting away from the obsessive/incessant thoughts and memories from the relationship ending. I remember going into this program 27 years earlier thinking that nobody could feel as badly as I did at the time. I soon found that was not true and everyone there was hurting no matter their circumstances. The same was true again. Being in a group setting, hearing others situations and issues, relating to them and growing through the crap together was very helpful for me. Thanks to you all for being part of my experience.
Bill R
When my husband left suddenly and I was new to Denver, I knew I needed help navigating the scary world of separation and divorce. I discovered the Rebuilders Workshop through online research and believe this course not only sustained me during a difficult time but also provided key resources for building a life apart from one’s partner. Nick Meima does a superb job of creating a safe space for thoughtful and meaningful exploration during a very fragile time in one’s life. The deliberate and intentional topics help those in distress make sense of what is happening and create new stories for how to create purposeful lives. It has been a time of growth, healing and tremendous encouragement.
M. Larma
Nick told me that we all go through the ending alone and that in order to heal and grow we cannot get through by ourselves. The huge amount of support I gained from the book, the teaching, the session with Nick and from my fellow students was amazing.
Melanie N
There was no Divorce Workshops available near where I live. I was skeptical that an online class could help. The Workshop, with the technology, made it very easy and accessible. All my questions were always answered. The facilitation and teaching were excellent. I made friends with several students – we talk weekly. All of us grew so much as a result of the Workshop.
Dan P
I would like to start by saying that in the beginning of my breakup, before deciding to go through with the divorce process, I was a very lost soul. We were married for such a long time. I didn’t know which way was up and was very frightened. I had very unusual circumstances for why my wife and I decided to get a divorce. Personally, I did not want to go through a divorce, I was in denial and there was a lot of hurt. One day my therapist suggested joining a local meet up website to try and connect to new people. I was browsing around and I found the Rebuilders group. I went to the website and I filled out the questionnaire. I was then contacted and by my surprise I was invited to lunch and was given feedback based off my answers. I was a little suspicious about meeting with a group of strangers but I felt comfortable after the first night of the class. The emotions poured through and the healing process began. Not only did I participate in discussing my feelings, which I never do, but I also gained a sense of understanding and insight on why my marriage had ended. This process was not easy in the beginning but I allowed myself to share and really dig into who I am as a person and how to move on. I have gained many valuable friendships and a support group that may last the rest of my life. Nick and Tara, the group leaders, were very understanding and I admire what they do and what they continue to do considering they have been there themselves. Looking back, this was the best decision I have ever made. To be able to bond with others going through similar situations was very insightful and I learned so much. There is still so much to learn about life and my new journey being single again and now I have direction and the fear has become my strength to move on and maybe one day love again.
Everett
My overall experience with Rebuilders was extremely insightful and educational in regards to the path back to the loving independent person I know I am. Nick was inspirational in guiding fellow classmates through each week, and holding our hand along the path to becoming whole again. I looked forward to meeting each week to learn from others and share my experiences. There were times during the program Nick would reach out to check on participants and their well-being. He went above and beyond what I expected. I wish I had known about this seminar during earlier losses in my life because I feel inspired and now know that my healing has been accelerated as a result of this seminar. It has been a lifesaver, literally.
Chris
Enrolling in the Rebuilders Workshop literally saved my life. I was in such pain and couldn’t stop crying even though almost a year had passed since my divorce. My doctors recommended numerous books and prescribed countless prescriptions, but I was stuck in my grief. The longer I was stuck, the more fearful I became. It was a vicious cycle. My heart was squeezed so tight, I could barely breathe. I never experienced such pain. I was losing hope and wished I was dead. I completed the Self-Test online and Nick immediately called to offer support. I signed up for his 10-week course and not only did real healing begin, but Nick gave us valuable tools needed to move forward and build a more authentic life. Everyone who participated in our seminar agreed it was life-changing. Overall Satisfaction = 10.
WTR
Thank you for a great class! I really don’t know where I would have been without it. So grateful I have moved away from the state of blame and victimization and so glad to feel empowered and ready to create a new life!
Helen P
I am several years removed from my divorce. Still, this was a fabulous personal growth opportunity for me. Nick is expert at setting an accepting tone to the class. His patience and willingness to “wait” with us in silence as we process some of our most difficult experiences let me know that he valued each and everyone’s thoughts and feelings. Nick is extraordinarily kind and able to empathize with those taking his workshop. He enhanced Dr. Fisher’s work with several of his own activities and discussions. I recommend this learning opportunity to all who has come through divorce and ask, “Now what? How can I find greater happiness and satisfaction in my life?
Kristin B
Words cannot express the valuable insight I found during my workshop experience. I find myself stronger, much happier & less anxiety-ridden. I believe processing every single emotion truly made the difference. I tell anyone going thru a split to invest in this class. The structure & support of people in the trenches with me, were priceless. Thank u, thank u, thank u! You really helped in leading me to the path toward healing.
Anne N
Frequently Asked Questions
- What exactly do we help people with? We move people through the emotional process and shift their mindset so that they can focus on their future and build healthy and happy relationships.
- At what point can we help people? The program is 30 years old. Ideas, exercises and topics have been tried and tested many different ways, on thousands of people. The result is a highly effective, efficient program.
- I'm in therapy. How is this different? Therapy and coaching are different in a lot of ways. Some say that therapy uses a model that you are “broken” and need to be fixed whereas coaching assuming that you are perfect and that you just need to understand how to break through to new levels. Coaching doesn’t look at your past or childhood, it works with who you are now to quickly learn new skills.
- I'm scared to make this decision. Yes, many people are. Being afraid is being human. Having courage is acknowledging your fear and moving forward. Life is always uncertain. At the end of the day we can only choose fear or choose life. Finally, consider this: it is only in times that we push ourselves into something that is unknown that we grow. Staying in the same place and doing the same things brings the same result.
- I can't afford this program. Is there anything you can do for me? We are committed to providing solutions for people at all budgets. Most people can find a program and payment plan that works for them.
- What if I'm not divorced yet? That’s okay. Many people find that being in one of our programs is like having a friend to be with you during the process.
- How often do the group classes occur? The Workshop classes are held weekly and last 10 weeks. We have classes that are on weekends, typically Sundays and classes on weeknights as well. We usually have a new class starting every few weeks.
- My situation is different. Why would it work for me? Yes. Every divorce is different. However, this program has been refined for over 30 years. THOUSANDS of people have taken it. If you apply yourself to doing the work we have no doubt that it will work for you.
- Should I wait until my divorce is final? If you are in a REALLY chaotic time during your divorce and you don’t have the time to devote to learning then you should wait a little. However, we have found that people outside of only the most chaotic times will benefit.
- You mention that this is coaching and not therapy. What is the difference? Therapy assumes there is something wrong with you. Coaching believes that you are perfect and that you simply have challenges to unblock. Coaching takes where you are and helps you get to where you want to be. Therapy focuses on your past. Those are big differences!
- Is this just therapy? Not at all! Coaching and therapy are different models. Lots of people have done therapy for years and find that our programs offer results in a matter of weeks. Some people prefer to do both.
- How do I get started? Click on one of the buttons on this page to take the next step.
How Our Program Works
Step 1
Head
Your thinking, mindset, beliefs,, and values all influence how you respond to the traumatic experience of divorce. We show you how 95% of people think and how the other 5% think. We show you how you can step outside of the normal trap that keeps people stuck.
Step 2
Heart
Many people suppress, depress, or repress their feelings. Divorce brings so many "difficult" feelings. We give you tools to work through them, use them, and feel the "good" feelings again.
Step 3
Identity
In marriages people "lose" themselves. When the marriage ends they don't know who they are as a single person. We help you connect with yourself so that you can be comfortable being alone in your own skin.
